追梦者

       2009/07/19

       在家无线/无限上网的感觉正好。再也没有“好久没上MSN，因为不方便上网”的借口。

       2009/06/02

       真真是值得记住的日子，因为这一天，我有脸了！

       请各位多多指教，谈谈用facebook的经验。谢谢。

五月天      

       每逢五月第二周，即是我和妹妹较劲的日子。回首童年，一踏入五月份，我和妹妹便开始各自伤脑筋构思制作母亲节礼物，无非想制作出比对方更别致的礼物以博取母亲芳心。从简单的母亲节卡片，到立体心型贺卡，再来是亲手制作的康乃馨，无一不谋杀了许多脑细胞。童年天真无邪，五月间如果突然发现书房被反锁，或是深夜里睡房亮着黄灯，不必惊慌，因为妈妈心爱的孩子正在里头酝酿着母亲节礼物：只见书桌上堆满了手工刀、五颜六色的花纸、彩色笔、浆糊及一些说不出名堂的手工原料。身为孩子肚子里蛔虫的母亲瞧在心底也不好说破，静静的等待母亲节的到来，期盼礼物的惊喜。有时太早完成礼物，又得开始伤脑筋把礼物藏好，深怕还没到母亲节正日，礼物就曝光了。而顽皮的我们在小心把礼物藏好之余，也会想尽办法窥探对方所制作的礼物，把三十六计里的‘知己知彼’发挥得淋漓尽致。
       手工制作的礼物纯属博‘妈’一笑，固然没有比从外头买回来的礼物更有实际用途，但也因为独一无二而显得加倍珍贵。就像情人节时情侣互送亲手制作小手工，看在别人眼里无非是占据储藏柜里的另一物件，但在情人眼里却像个宝物，记载着走过的岁月及尝尽的甜蜜与辛酸。情人如此，母亲亦然。于是，母亲会把累积多年的礼物珍藏在一个小抽屉里，而那抽屉无形中渐渐被标签为‘母亲节礼物收集柜’。当然，每回母亲收到礼物时，除了仔细欣赏一番外，也不忘给于评价，以便来年更上一层楼。
       后来，这传统一直延续下去，至最小的妹妹出世懂事后，也加入战围，形成三角战。虽然如此，我们当中偶尔也有联盟的出现，或是我和小妹妹一同制作礼物，或是两个姐妹花站在同一阵线对抗大哥哥，过程好不精彩。
       进入大学后，也不知是天真不再，或是江郎才尽，这样的传统变得断断续续，有些年简单得只请母亲吃一餐了事，想起来实在敷衍。今年心血来潮原本想制作一个大拼图，把与母亲的合照统统放进去，但在收集照片的同时，却惊愕发现在数十篇数码储存光碟里，和母亲近年来的合照竟十只手支数得尽。回忆这些年来，当履历逐渐沉淀，认识的朋友越来越多，妈妈开始缺席我的人生。不，正确地说是我已忘了邀我妈妈参与我的人生。原来，在这段成长的过程中，妈妈已不知不觉在我生命中从主角变成了配角。这是多么可怕的事！至此收起大拼图的念头，排排时间表多回家吃妈妈烧的菜，我想只要和妈妈一起吃饭，天天都是母亲节！

曾刊于星洲日报副刊星云版 五月四八日

这首歌在毕业的季节里更是味道。

谢安琪 - 欢送会

来的人已经来 我们干一杯 祝福你未来
有人说 那年的耶诞 派对同样精彩
有人说 明天的时代 要拭目以待
试问谁能残酷坦率表白 当下的无奈

有人提议说 来一个游戏 预言的纸牌
很奇怪 命运的轮胎 任由扑克安排
欢迎会有新人到来 欢送会有故人离开
不要猜 为了喝得更愉快 最好不要太明白

离开的要离开 过去的喜怒哀乐喝下多少杯
多少祝福语一句一句走过人间的澎湃 成为你的未来
离开不留伤害 香槟酒一瓶一瓶及友谊万岁
陪大家一起迎接生存永恒的常态 对明天忠诚的 崇拜

醉下的醉下来 晨曦都将至 好好的感慨
多年来 从青春小艾 成为别人的贤内
明天你要扬帆出海 明天我要多赚两块
更应该 努力不懈的存在 来年笑得更开怀

离开的要离开 过去的喜怒哀乐喝下多少杯
多少祝福语一句一句走过人间的澎湃 成为你的未来
离开不留伤害 香槟酒一瓶一瓶及友谊万岁
陪大家一起迎接生存永恒的常态 欢送你也不要 悲哀
明天也会有欢迎会盛开

       2009/05/03

       最近做了两件让大家嘴开开的事。第一，我决定长不大，毕业后继续念书。朋友千想万想都觉得我是铁定毕业后出来工作的。就连我的未来师傅 DR.R 都这么怀疑我深造的决心。对此，我只能说天下无不变的定律。有梦想就去追，如果能力许可的话，哪怕是一生的牺牲。言重了。

       第二，当我朋友知道我到“海关”兼职实验室技术人员（lab technician）时，认为我疯了。那种shift来shift去的工作的确shit，做了day和night后，我彻底想骂句脏话：“我终于领教过了什么叫做犯贱。”但，这也是种体验。因为这份苦差，我见识到什么叫做CE，什么叫做chemist，什么叫做shit。Ops，是shift。

-写于shitting的当儿。

       2009/03/30

       Time flies. 这是我在为学会活动小册子写献词时惯用的开场白。当年，穿上这件 lah lah shirt, 正值 Pak Lah 上台，做梦STPM 四个A。转个眼，苍蝇飞过，Pak Lah 交棒，就快毕业，青春不再。当年疯狂沸腾的事，如今都已如红酒般沉淀，不敢说香醇，但至少viscous 了些，心中已难再现涟漪。

       上台，如故事开了端，就会有个结局，这是迟早的事。有人回味故事的过程，有人只在意结果，更多人选择选择性失忆，只把想要的画面保留下来。虽说盖棺定论，下台定功过，但有时也难为这段历史评个好坏，毕竟这是个过程，很难辩说如果这过程不如所发生的发生会怎样，会更好？会更糟？就像转头看回一路走来的小径，很难说准如果当初在那分岔路上不作出造成如今的决定，那另外一条路的风景又会如何。事与愿违，一直在世界不同的角落发生着。时势造英雄，更是流传于狗熊间的安慰话。自嘲。犹记得当年穿上 lah lah shirt 时的愿景和共同许下的未来，回想起来也只是当时的天真。天真得可爱。人因梦想而伟大，但又有谁因梦想而伟大？梦想是燎原的苗，得以顺风助兴，却也为逆风所歼灭，正所谓风能兴火，亦能灭火。风能带你飞向梦想，也能载你离梦想远去，把梦想变得更梦想。虽然如此，没有人会因为有梦想而遗憾，只有遗憾没有梦想，和梦想还是梦想。结论，我没有因为当初有梦想而遗憾，却遗憾风一直没来。I have a dream。几时伟大？等着瞧。

       只是，Pak Lah 有遗憾吗？

       化学工程教会我一件事：steady state process => input + generation = output + consumption  

       人生是个过程(process)。试问Pak Lah 执政的这段期间，我在象牙塔里generate 了什么？consume了什么？

       又，input + generation – output – consume = accumulation   => unsteady state

       当当年的疯狂沸腾都已沉淀(accumulate)，是乎意味着人生已进入新的页章： unsteady state？

       笑，这是什么theory？沉淀时 = unsteady，有谁质问过？想那提出这 theory 的死人泉下有知应该在偷偷笑吧。

       记忆有些支碎，造成回忆起来有些口吃，也造成这篇不修边幅的文章。这是time flies 的结果。也是上台下台的过程。是的，我快毕业了。从象牙塔退下，准备进入另一更高的象牙塔。  

      2009/3/17               

       近来宿舍房间不知何故无法上网，诸多不便，也成了我“很久没写blog”的借口。

                自三月三日和系友从云顶下山后，与老同学聚了一次会。志伟说我的出现是奇迹，因为太多次的缺席让我成了“最后一个被想到叫出来聚”的老朋友。Speechless。

                当天谈到中学时的往事，志伟和我一直在辩说SPM那年谁坐在我的后面。原来，我们已不知不觉到了“回忆中学趣事”的年龄。许多当年执著的事在今天看来已无所谓。是成熟了，还是经岁月洗涤后已丧失了当年的真？

                不知怎，有些厌恶中学的那段风景。回首当初，有些不堪。如果问我哪段人生想重写，仔细想想是中学那载吧。总觉得中学是在一阵懵懵懂懂中混过去的。如果当初过得认真点，中学记忆将更值得缅怀。

                突然想起正在咀嚼九把刀的《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》。这书是趁室友不在时偷偷看的，因为怕室友见我边看边笑会叫我去做精神检查。

发笑，是因为九把刀的文字，还有共振的记忆。

p/s：朋友，哪天学学九把刀把我们的也铺在白字上，叫其他人也作精神检查去。

 Health: 

  1. Drink plenty of water.
 
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like
 a beggar.
 
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food
 that is manufactured in plants.
 
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
 
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
 
6. Play more games.
 
7. Read more books than you did in 2008.
 
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
 
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
 
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
 
 
 
 
Personality:
 
  
11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their
 journey is all about.
 
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
 Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
 
13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
 
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
 
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
 
16. Dream more while you are awake.
 
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
 
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with
 his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
 
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate
 others. 
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present
 
 
 
Society:
 
 
 
25. Call your family often.
 
26. Each day give something good to others.
 
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
 
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
 
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
 
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
 
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
 will. Stay in touch.
 
 
 
 
Life:
 
 
 
32. Do the right thing!
 
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
 
34. Believing in something, heals everything.
 
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
 
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
 
37. The best is yet to come.
 
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank your parents for it.
 
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
 
 
 
 
 
Last but not the least:
 
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about. & keep smiling!

p/s: i just broke the 2nd rule, having supper now…kekeke

        话说我工作的地点靠近货柜码头，道路上不乏笨重的卡车行驶，所以凡遇到上下班的繁忙时段，车速都是以低手挡缓缓前进。
        本来早晨驱车上班，风和日丽，独自花些时间在车龙里图个清静，鉴赏一片CD，听电台主持人耍嘴皮子，或是等待远方拂晓的那一刻，也是件心情轻松的事。但偏偏就有没耐心的司机抄路旁的紧急通道企图插位，搞得车子一下油门一下刹车，神经一直紧绷着。

       如果文明指的是社会进步与自律的状态，那我想大马只文明了一半。从望后镜里看着一辆辆汽车从车队里移进路肩上，践着杂草和沙尘火速从车旁掠过，到前边插队，造成原本两行车道顿时变成三、四排车，心中不禁纳闷。路上挤挤的都是上班族，大家都希望准时到达工作的岗位，那么这些司机为何只想到自己赶路而妄顾交通次序为难其他循规蹈矩的公路使用者？要知道，半小时的车程被这些插队的车辆搞得一路上走走停停，更是费时。最为他们不值的还是那些乖乖排在中间车道排队的车辆，眼看被插队的车辆左右夹攻，自己原来的车道被占去，落得打讯号灯求旁边车道收容的下场。此时要是有什么碰撞，不更得不偿失吗？
        汽车的引擎低声咆哮着，猛喝汽油放臭屁。突然想起九把刀的书名《慢慢来，比较快》，心中特别有所领悟。

曾刊于星洲日报副刊星云版 二月四日

       大年初一

        话说“Happy 牛 year” 是今年最流行的新年祝语。牛年已至，催着人认老。是的，我不小了，十二生肖绕了两圈，不知是喜是愁。究竟人生有多少个圈可以绕？突然想起星州副刊主编曾毓林在星期天的留言。

        前些时候收到一封转寄的电邮，引述新加坡李光耀之女于一月四日刊登在Sunday Times 的文章，想与大家共勉之：

In 2007, in an end-of-year message to the staff of the National Neuroscience Institute, I wrote: ‘Whilst boom time in the public sector is never as booming as in the private sector, let us not forget that boom time is eventually followed by slump time. Slump time in the public sector is always less painful compared to the private sector.’

Slump time has arrived with a bang.

While I worry about the poorer Singaporeans who will be hit hard, perhaps this recession has come at an opportune time for many of us. It will give us an incentive to reconsider our priorities in life.

Decades of the good life have made us soft. The wealthy especially, but also the middle class in Singapore, have had it so good for so long, what they once considered luxuries, they now think of as necessities.

A mobile phone, for instance, is now a statement about who you are, not just a piece of equipment for communication. Hence many people buy the latest model though their existing mobile phones are still in perfect working order.

A Mercedes-Benz is no longer adequate as a status symbol. For millionaires who wish to show the world they have taste, a Ferrari or a Porsche is deemed more appropriate.

The same attitude influences the choice of attire and accessories. I still find it hard to believe that there are people carrying handbags that cost more than thrice the monthly income of a bus driver, and many more times that of the foreign worker labouring in the hot sun, risking his life to construct luxury condominiums he will never have a chance to live in.

The media encourages and amplifies this ostentatious consumption. Perhaps it is good to encourage people to spend more because this will prevent the recession from getting worse. I am not an economist, but wasn’t that the root cause of the current crisis - Americans spending more than they could afford to?

I am not a particularly spiritual person. I don’t believe in the supernatural and I don’t think I have a soul that will survive my death. But as I view the crass materialism around me, I am reminded of what my mother once told me: ‘Suffering and deprivation is good for the soul.’

My family is not poor, but we have been brought up to be frugal. My parents and I live in the same house that my paternal grandparents and their children moved into after World War II in 1945. It is a big house by today’s standards, but it is simple - in fact, almost to the point of being shabby.

Those who see it for the first time are astonished that Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew’s home is so humble. But it is a comfortable house, a home we have got used to. Though it does look shabby compared to the new mansions on our street, we are not bothered by the comparison.

Most of the world and much of Singapore will lament the economic downturn. We have been told to tighten our belts. There will undoubtedly be suffering, which we must try our best to ameliorate.

But I personally think the hard times will hold a timely lesson for many Singaporeans, especially those born after 1970 who have never lived through difficult times.

No matter how poor you are in Singapore, the authorities and social groups do try to ensure you have shelter and food. Nobody starves in Singapore.

Many of those who are currently living in mansions and enjoying a luxurious lifestyle will probably still be able to do so, even if they might have to downgrade from wines costing $20,000 a bottle to $10,000 a bottle. They would hardly notice the difference.

Being wealthy is not a sin. It cannot be in a capitalist market economy. Enjoying the fruits of one’s own labour is one’s prerogative and I have no right to chastise those who choose to live luxuriously.

But if one is blinded by materialism, there would be no end to wanting and hankering. After the Ferrari, what next? An Aston Martin? After the Hermes Birkin handbag, what can one upgrade to?

Neither an Aston Martin nor an Hermes Birkin can make us truly happy or contented. They are like dust, a fog obscuring the true meaning of life, and can be blown away in the twinkling of an eye.

When the end approaches and we look back on our lives, will we regret the latest mobile phone or luxury car that we did not acquire? Or would we prefer to die at peace with ourselves, knowing that we have lived lives filled with love, friendship and goodwill, that we have helped some of our fellow voyagers along the way and that we have tried our best to leave this world a slightly better place than how we found it?

We know which is the correct choice - and it is within our power to make that choice.

In this new year, burdened as it is with the problems of the year that has just ended, let us again try to choose wisely.

To a considerable degree, our happiness is within our own control, and we should not follow the herd blindly.

The writer （Lee Wei Ling）is director of the National Neuroscience Institute.